Monday, November 26, 2012


Get out of the way Andrew. Seriously. I think that chick’s top just came off. I’m gonna zoom in and then we can look at her boobies back at the slam palace. Andrew, for fuck’s sake. Move your ‘lax pad out of the way. I think I see boobies!

Monday, July 9, 2012

The Moment

Oh wow. I’ve never seen a view like this. The sand, the ocean, the fog, the moment. That’s it! I’ll frame this picture and call it ‘The Moment’. It’ll fit perfectly on the wall in front of the toilet. So whenever I have to pee I’ll always remember the serenity of ‘The Moment.’

Thursday, June 28, 2012

In Action!

Action photography! I'm taking a picture while in a cable car. This is outrageous! I should be a stunt photographer. Maybe I could work on a Tom Cruise movie and rappel down a mountain while filming a car explosion or something like that. Check out how steady my hands are. Fuck I'm talented. I'm super fucking talented.


What’s that? Is that a butterfly? Holy shit. This is going to be a glorious photo. I’ll make place mats with the photo. They’ll sell in little shops all across Europe. I’ll be the talk of the town. People will say, look, there’s the woman who took that amazing picture of a butterfly.